Friday, November 02, 2007
10:48 PM

my blog has always been declared dead.
so i guess no one will surf my blog =D

yes! EOY is over! i'm promoted but i do not find my results satisfactory.
i believe i can do better!

its sad to see that your parents have no comments whatsoever on your performance.
they could encourage you, praise you, anything is fine.
but say some other things than "oh.. ok.."

i'm being over-sensitive these few weeks.
its not a nice feeling.
this feelings may be untrue but it might be true too.
and if turns out to be real, you will really get hurt.

but some things really make me think. like
why people stare at me
why no one wants to sit with me
why they don't wants to tell me stuff

i will have a lot of negative thoughts. like
am i anti social
am i so irritating ( i guess i am before.. perhaps thats why i become more anti social )
do i have a dishonest look
do i have friends
are they thinking that i am a fly

so little events, so many thoughts.
is that good or bad?

i really hate all this stuffs.
i want to thrash them out onto someone,
someone who is willing to lend a listening ear
but no one is willing, no one sees this need

i tell myself to smile.
i smiled.
i tell myself not to delve too much into such negative thoughts.
i did
but sometimes i tell myself cry and let it be over
i cried.
i tell myself not to care
but i could not help it

trust no one, that is me.
i keep things to myself
i hate people to know too much about me.
people who knows too much about you hurts you the most
i don't want that.

i keep to myself
as i do not know how to say it out loud.
i'm bad at expressing myself
i tried and i failed.
the only people who understand what i'm trying to say is only a few.
perhaps 2?

one of them is doreen
the other is kendy.
maybe they got use to it.
maybe they really understand me.
maybe they are the ones i let myself open to the most
thats why they understand me more.
we do not need to express ourselves much,
just need to say, you understand, don't you?

but they don't even know half of me.
i wonder who will be the one i let myself be vulnerable too.
perhaps never?

i longed to be cared for and loved.
not exactly those kind of feelings that you might be thinking of.
what i want is, for example,
parents spending more time with you instead of saying you are irritating whenever you try to tell them how you really feels.
friends who knows you are unhappy and try to make you happy
and many more.

practically thats what i always wished for before i sleep.
i seems like a kid, don't i?
how i wished i'm a kid forever.
so innocent and simple.

i think i've change a lot.
in the past i can be crazy whenever i want,
crap a lot
be very sarcastic
very irritating
and some people do not like me because of all these.

thats why i want to change
i want them to like me
but in the end, it just got worse
i got very unhappy.
i miss my old self.
and i guess some people do miss that as well.

my primary school friend asked me:"have you changed? become more mature?"
i answered yes.
but i do not want it now.

i'm one of a kind.

i'm emo
Where is my star? I miss you. I wish to cry...




Playing
Always with me
Spirited Away

Profile
Wendy Ong
xingnan [XNPS]
1E, 2E, 3H, 4H, 5C, 6C
commonwealth [CWSS]
1/4, 2/4, 3/1, 4/1
15.12.1992
and i'm A LITTLE CRAZY...just a little bit

Story
this is wendy... u r now searching thru my life...

A girl and a boy were on a motorcycle, speeding through the night. They loved each other a lot..

Girl: "slow down a little.. I'm scared.."
Boy: "No, it's so fun.."
Girl: "please..it's so scary.."
Boy: "Then say that you love me.."
Girl: "Fine..I love you..can you slow down now?"
Boy: "Give me a big hug.." The girl gave him a big hug.
Girl: "Now can you slow down?"
Boy: "Can you take off my helmet and put it on? It's uncomfortable and its bothering me while i drive."
The next day, there was a story in the newspaper. A motorcycle had crashed into a building because its brakes were broken.
There were two people on the motorcycle, of which one died, and the other had survived......
The guy knew that the brakes were broken. He didn't want to let the girl know, because he knew that the girl would have gotten scared.
Instead, he was told the last time that she loved him, got a hug from her, put his helmet on her so that she can live, and died himself...
Once in awhile, Right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a fairy tale.

ESCAPE
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吴尊
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xuanyi
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deviantART

MEMORIES
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I Demand you to Speak

Spit It Out!
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